Been Gone for Far too Long
by xxredemption-love-and-liesxx
Summary: With the discovery of Goten, Goku realizes just how long he has been away, and how much he has really missed. / G/CC


**Been Gone for Far too Long**

 **Summary:** With the discovery of Goten, Goku realizes just how long he has been away, and how much he has really missed.

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 **H** e somewhat knew what he should expect during his one day of returning back to the living (well, kinda). He knew that his friends would be excited to see him, and Gohan would no doubt want to show him what he has learned during Goku's time of absence. Chi-Chi would probably start crying as she often does whenever he returns after a long period of time. Most of the time he feels guilty for her tears, but he knows that she is _extremely_ happy to see him. So damn happy that she would start crying (he still didn't get _that_ all the time—wasn't crying for people who are sad?).

However, _this_ was _not_ what he had expected. In fact, he didn't think it would happen because the thought _never crossed his mind_. Seeing a child no older than six hiding behind his mate's leg instantly set alarm bells off. He could only think that _maybe_ Chi-Chi had moved on, but after closer examination of the child—as well as the boy's _ki_ —he could tell that the child was his. _Definitely_ his.

Another thought had crossed his mind then too. How had he not come to know of this? Sure, he had not paid attention to Earth all that much, only ever stating to the North Kai that he only wanted to know if the Earth were in immediate danger, as at the time, his training was more important (I mean, who would pass that up!?). Still, it was not like he could really do anything with a trained body in the afterlife, other than maybe fighting against foes who had passed a long time ago (really, at that point no one _really_ surpassed him in the real world at that particular time).

Training was just something that was like breathing to him.

Still, the thought that Kai would not mention a _child_ to him was shocking. Then again, the Kai probably thought it were best not to mention anything about it, as Goku would probably want to visit—when he _probably_ should not have been able to. The halo on his head testifies to that.

Seven years wasn't really a long time… until you added a child to _that_ equation.

Goku knew that he was not the best father or the best husband, but he did not think of himself as the worst. Yet, that was all he could label himself as being—the worst.

He _should have known_ that his wife were expecting. Wasn't that an ability that saiyans had gained in order to make sure that pregnant women _did not fight_?

In fact, _Vegeta_ had explained it to him one drunken evening (oddly enough that did not end in a fight). Then again, it made a lot of sense that Goku would not be able to sense it when he was dead. _Ki_ from Earth did not really… _show_ unless he focused big time, and his attention was never on Earth.

Or his son.

Or his wife.

So, _definitely_ not his _other_ (younger) son.

Still, he felt _even worse_ when he remembered the pain she went through giving birth to Gohan. In fact, he remembered vividly that the doctors were unsure if she would survive the birth. He ended up _casually_ stealing some senzu beans and returning to feed one to her to make sure she would recover. It had haunted him ever since, and he felt guilty then _knowing that the baby_ was like that because of the saiyan blood running through _his_ veins (not that he knew he _was_ a saiyan then, but he connected the dots years later). Plus, it did not help that Chi-Chi and Bulma had been discussing it – apparently the two had it quite bad when it came to giving birth, something about saiyans breaking internal structures and damaging organs.

His dark eyes flickered onto Chi-Chi's, she was telling the boy that it was okay—that his father was fine, that his father was gentle. The boy looked up at Goku before all feelings of nervousness fled him, and he cried out: "Otou-chan!" while running towards his older and taller carbon copy.

In seconds, Goku dropped to his knees and hugged the little boy before scooping him onto his shoulder. His previous thoughts were all but gone, deciding it would be best to focus on this child for the moment. The little boy was light to the feel, and a quick scan of the boy's _ki_ let Goku know that the boy was quite well-trained already. He wondered who took the time to teach the kid. Gohan? Chi-Chi?

However, a quick glance at Vegeta gave him the answer he needed. It brought a small smile onto the tall saiyan's lips. Perhaps… Perhaps Trunks—the small one—and Goten were friends, which lead to the two being trained together( **1** ). Who knew Vegeta was that sort of person? Again, those thoughts vanished as quick as they came as he grinned at his family of three.

Gohan had _definitely_ grown a lot, and was only a little shorter than Goku—Goku was a tall man, and Gohan was definitely above average. Gohan also seemed to be slightly weaker than what he was seven years ago. Then again, Earth had _obviously_ not had huge threats during his time in the afterlife, so there was no reason to _stay_ that strong (plus no training partners to really keep up at that strength), Goku supposed, plus knowing Gohan, the boy had been focusing on his studies.

Goku did not really think of anything bad against it, as it was his son's life, not his. He just wished that Chi-Chi had understood that much, but he knew that she just wanted Gohan—and probably Goten—to succeed in life as earthlings.

He did not really notice the chatter around him from the others, and instead was focusing on the boy in his arms. Right away, he noticed that he and the child looked _exactly_ the same—right down to the hairstyle and even the same goofy grin. Goku _did_ notice that the child had a smaller and a rounder nose, but other than, the kid was _definitely_ his. Goten was also wearing a _gi_ which made Goku know that the boy would be fighting. As suspected, the child was lacking a tail—whether he was born without it or with it, Goku supposed it would have been removed due to incidents with both himself and Gohan.

Those tails were dangerous, after all.

He blinked a few times before placing the boy gently down and rubbing his hand against the unruly spikes on the boy's head. The child grinned at him, making Goku's heart swell. The child already appeared to love him—even though he had… ah, here comes the negative emotions again. Goku knew already he would need to sort this out before he fought, or else he would hurt his opponents more than he would want to with a level head. His eyes fixated on his wife this time—he noticed she had barely aged during the seven years—and decided that he would talk to her before he left about the past seven years. It was a needed discussion.

… Honestly, he was surprised the woman was still showing him those love-filled eyes of hers. He did not deserve that at all. Cursing himself, and biting his razor sharp canines( **2** ) against his tongue, the saiyan snapped out of it. ' _Stop this!_ '

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"So… you _did_ save the Earth and couldn't come back because you've been brought back before?" Goten's lips were shaped into an innocent 'o' shape as he looked his father up and down, "I mean, I heard the stories, Otou-chan, but no one really…"

Goku gave the boy a thumbs up, a wide grin splitting across his own features, "Yup! Hurt a lot though," he scratched his head, squinting his eyes shut, "I gotta say. It's pretty cool though, I think. Cell was a difficult enemy, even for Gohan!"

"Nii-san had trouble with him?" Goten shouted, completely surprised, "I thought he was just being… uhm, what's the word?" he shook away the thoughts of the unknown word, "Yeah… anyways. Nii-san is _so strong_ though!"

Goku was proud of his eldest son—the boy had grown stronger than himself for that time. Goku never thought he would see the day. The child had had so much potential. Gohan could easily become stronger than him, even now. Perhaps half-saiyans were stronger than full? He would have to ask… Bulma about it. He was sure Vegeta would up and down curse him for asking such a question. Bulma was sure to have a better answer. Well, if Goku remembered to ask.

The two saiyans stared at each-other for a moment; after all, it was the first time the two really had seen each-other. Goten had been able to see his father in photographs, but Goku… Goku did not even know of his existence until that day. His eyes narrowed slightly at the thought of that.

"Hey, Goten?"

Goten shook his head, looking up at his father, "Yeah?"

Goku opened his mouth before shutting it again and bowing his head in what seemed to be shame, "Why don't ya… you know, hate me? I mean… I don't really… _know you_ and you don't know me—" the saiyan realised that might be difficult for a child to understand—he did not understand it all that well after all, "—I mean… I haven't been around. Didn't even know you were alive 'till now, you know…"

Thanks to the privacy of the room, Goten felt he could speak easily, "Mm, nope. Okaa-chan said that if you _could_ come back ya would. I mean, I get the wishes thing… that ya can only be brought back the dragon balls once, right?" at Goku's nod, the boy continued, "She said that ya might not know about me, and that was okay, I mean… how could she contact ya? Gohan said you'd like me, and so did Okaa-chan—so it was fine. I mean… yeah…" Goten's expression became downcast at that, "…woulda been nice to have, y'know, a dad that's around but… ya can't really help it, can you?"

Goku grit his teeth. He always had the option… he could have transported Cell away, and quickly dashed for it… but… Goku did not understand why the boy was not angry. Goku was sure if he were in the same position he'd be pretty mad.

Still, Goten's final words made Goku realize that, even when he was there, he had not been around all that much for even _Gohan's_ childhood. Gohan had been raised by Chi-Chi practically on her own. The only times Goku did anything with the boy was when they were camping or training. Nothing else, really. And Goku _preferred_ to train on his own to make _himself_ stronger. Still, he realized how dangerous it was when his own elder brother, Raditz, kidnapped Gohan. _That_ had been a traumatic experience, and Goku was genuinely worried he would lose his little boy in that particular battle. He was fighting for his child in _that battle_ , rather than for the sake of it. However, that was all he could really do.

… Perhaps it was better that he was dead, his influence would not be on Goten… And maybe… maybe the Earth would be safer( **3** )… his _sons_ and mate would be safer… so much safer. Perhaps… Perhaps it would have been better if he did not come back.

"Otou-chan? Are you okay?" the boy asked, looking over his father with genuine worry, he then dropped his head, "I mean… is it 'cause of me?"

' _Wait—_ '

"No no no no no!" Goku said placing his hands in front of him, "Just annoyed at myself, you know."

Goten looked (understandably) confused. He put out his lip and stared for a while. The boy's father blinked a few times before turning away slightly, closing himself off to the young boy. Goten seemed to realize that it was not him that made Goku behave like that. It seemed to relieve the boy, but then made him anxious about what was affecting his—from what he heard from both his mother and brother—usually careless father.

However, it seemed Goten would not get that answer, as Goku stood up—halo following him. They had about thirty minutes before the tournament would begin, and Goku still has yet to clear his head of the thoughts he was feeling. He was not sure how he could stop himself from feeling the way he is, but he hoped that maybe he would feel better in a little while. That maybe, as always, his mind would become blank before fights.

Although, it seemed that particular hope was not going to work out for him.

"Otou-chan," the boy murmured, looking downwards, "um… I'm uh, glad to have met you… I also wanna see how you fight… Say, if we have _a little_ time, can we spar?" the boy looked up at his father with twinkling eyes.

Goku grinned, glad that his son was able to come up with a way to make him think of something else, "Nah, how about we have a quick spar now? We got the time, son."

The little boy's smile widened to the point where Goku could see the kid's dimples.

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After the saga with Majin Buu, Goku _finally_ had the time to _think_. He was alive, so he could think at home, but instead found himself meditating a top a large mountain close by his home. His thoughts were filled with negativity—they had been ever since he had been back over the last few days. Goku knew that Buu's awakening was due to his and Vegeta's brawl—although Goku _tried_ to get the saiyan prince to _stop_. Then, practically all their friends had been killed by the pink blob—including his _mate_ and his sons. … He had not been able to protect them. He was sure Chi-Chi had been terrified when she was chased down, although she never really spoke of it. Even though Buu—the shell—was not evil, Chi-Chi was still hesitant around him. Goten and Gohan were fine though—Gohan specifically. He was used to events such as this, while Goten was inwardly strong enough to deal with it.

Chi-Chi was… Chi-Chi had never really died before. She had, of course, but… actually _dying_ and feeling it rather than it being instant…? That was completely different to what she was used to, and it had affected her. Goku knew that much, but he did not know _how to deal with it_. He himself was dealing with feelings of self-hatred when it came to how he could not protect them…

He had acted differently to how Vegeta had when he had learned of the deaths of his mate and child. Vegeta had actually agreed to fight _with_ Goku, which showed how much Vegeta had come to care for both Trunks and Bulma. It was very different to what Goku had seen when the androids and Cell were their main enemies. Vegeta had been so reluctant to show any care for them, and it was obviously something Bulma was used to. Mirai Trunks was more surprised by it than anyone else, seemingly expecting the two to get along. Still, Goku knew it was due to the boy that the two had been able to end up together and become as close as they are—even if they do not seem that way. It was easy to tell with the way Vegeta watched Bulma when no one was looking. He loved her, even if he would never admit it. And _that_ was probably what set him off more than anything else.

… It was pure agony for a saiyan to lose their mate. They may as well have lost their soul, and have died—the pain was that great. It seemed to be the same for even _non_ -saiyans as Bulma had apparently fainted when she learned of the death of her mate. That made Goku wonder how Chi-Chi reacted when _he_ had died. Did she feel it like Bulma had( **4** )?

Chi-Chi was the sort to full-on cry during his death though, rather than pass out. He had made her sad multiple times when it came to dying, that much he knew. Still…

Seven years.

Seven years of family life he had lost…

That was what was pulling him apart the most.

He did not know of Goten; he did not know that Gohan had found his own mate; he did not know that Chi-Chi had suffered terribly during his absence. Really, he should have known with the last—it would kill him if he did not know she was _there_. Maybe he was never around, but…

He would not deal with knowing that she was not there for him when he returned home. Even if him returning home was not instant or all the time. It was unfair, he knew, but he could not change the way he was. All he could really do was show her how much he loved her.

Onyx eyes focused on their small family home; he could see it from where he was standing. Perhaps… Perhaps he should ask her. Was she… was she mad about the amount of time he was away? Was she mad that he did not keep tabs on them? … He knew she knew, and he would not be surprised if she was angry about it.

Sighing, he pressed his middle and index finger against his forehead and reached out for the calmness of her _ki_.

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He found himself in their living room. She was dusting away at some photos and was clearing away clothing from the coffee table. She had not yet noticed him, and Goku—allowing himself to scan the house—realized his boys were not at home. Apparently, Gohan was with Videl while Goten was hanging out with Trunks. The saiyan allowed a grin to fall onto his lips as he crept over to his wife before whispering 'boo'.

"Eeek!" she turned around and promptly whacked him upside the head with the feather duster, staring at him with wide eyes before she realized that she had hit him, "Oh… sorry, sweetheart."

He scratched the back of his head, his wide smile not disappearing. However, he remembered why he wanted to return home _before_ dinner and his smile vanished very quickly. He dropped his head, looking down at the floor.

"Hey… uh… haven't really been able to talk to ya after, uh… everythin'…" he muttered, peering up at her.

She had placed her duster against the coffee table and was paying him her full attention. He appreciated that. The saiyan sighed, letting a heavy breath escape him. It was her answer that mattered the most.

Chi-Chi tilted her head slightly, "The battle's over… aren't ya happy about that? Or are ya annoyed that—"

"Nothing to do with it…" Goku said, dropping his head, "Aren't ya… pissy that I was away? I mean… I only came back to fight, and—"

The woman interrupted him, placing her small hand against his chest, "I know you, Goku. Fighting is in your blood. If this is what it's about, don't even start."

"But Chii'ch—"

Her eyebrows drew downwards, one twitching slightly, "Don't… _start_ , Goku."

"You had a kid with—"

"And it's perfectly fine. Don't ya start—"

"And it was pretty shit I remember with Gohan—"

" _Goku_."

He stopped.

His eyes fell onto her, and she seemed frustrated, "You don't understand, Chii'ch…"

She picked up the duster again, returning to her work on the house, dusting away at the dust that had collected. He watched her as she did this, and blinked a few times before letting out a huff. She did not want to speak of this further, it seemed. He would get to talk about it though.

.

"C'mon, Chii'ch, it's important!"

"It's _not_ because it's _fine_!" she huffed, her face turning pink from anger, "Why don't you get—"

"So you're _really_ not mad that I said I _didn't_ want to be brought back?" he snapped, interrupting her, "I could have come back— _you_ know that, right? I just… it wasn't fair to be brought back when others with the dragonballs—"

" _Don't you dare_!" she finally snapped, whipping around to face him directly—which she was smaller in stature, Goku could easily be intimidated by her if she wanted to be intimidating, " _Fine_ , it _did_ hurt, but—I learned to deal with it, Goku! I always did. What's it matter if you were dead… it's easier to mourn the loss of someone who's dead rather than alive, right? You weren't around, yes, but… I _knew_ you cared for us—that you would come back if we were in trouble because _I know you_. Ya need to stop askin' me about this because _yes_ I did wish you were here, and _yeah_ I cursed you for _ages_ when I found out I was pregnant with Goten—but if it weren't for _that_ I would have had nothin'. Gohan was gettin' older and didn't need a parent anymore… and it let me know I was needed, rather than being a housewife for a man who's _dead_."

Goku stayed silent, his tanned hands balling into fists and he looked like he literally wanted to hit something, but contained himself from doing so. The woman before him covered her eyes, letting out a hiccup as she _finally_ cried.

"Yes, it hurt, Goku, but… I won't hate ya for it, you know. Ya have your reasons for it," Chi-Chi said, rubbing her eyes after a while—her voice was thick with tears, he noticed, "I know you care for us, and that's all I need to know. I know ya come back someway or somehow, even if this time I wasn't so sure."

"Chi-Chi…" the tall saiyan whispered, reaching for her—while that did make him feel a little better, he still felt like shit because it was obvious that, while she accepted it, it still hurt her—and he was _so_ not sure on what he _can_ do, "What can I do?"

Chi-Chi rubbed the side of her head, her neat hair mussing up slightly, "What I want you to do is somethin' you're not _able_ to do, Goku."

Goku swallowed, reaching out for her, "Then tell me, then. I'll see what I can do."

"I want you to stay."

The saiyan did not seem to understand why that would be so difficult, but upon further thought he understood. She wanted him to stay out of danger's way, to just… be a normal earthling. She wanted him to be safe, yet, safety was literally outside of what he was capable of doing. He was born to be a warrior—literally. While he did not remember that, he knew it—it was in his blood, his code, his DNA. He was a fighter—a warrior. One of the Z fighters. In fact, an important part of them—excluding Vegeta and Gohan and Mirai Trunks.

He opened his mouth, but found that he could not speak, and instead dropped his head shamefully.

"But… I know ya can't. I know you, Goku. Ya ain't someone who can be held down. And… taking away your fightin' wouldn't make you Goku anymore, would it?" Chi-Chi stated, "And that would be unfair of me to ask for that. So… I'll tell ya somethin' more reasonable…" she took a moment to think before she looked up at him fully, tears still running down her face (he wanted to comfort her more than anything right now), "Try to… come back sometimes. Just for us…"

Goku stared at her blankly before he reached forward and brushed away her tears with his thumbs. It had always amazed Chi-Chi that someone as powerful as Goku was able to be this gentle, yet he had the capacity to do so.

He smiled at her—a very small smile for what he normally did, but it was genuine and _better_ in a different way, "Okay. I can promise that," He then pulled her into a tight hug, hearing her squeal before murmuring into her hair, "Sorry. Shoulda come home sooner, Chii'ch. Won't do that again, okay?"

"Okay…" Chi-Chi hiccupped, and finally—finally was able to happily enjoy her private reunion with her beloved husband.

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 _fin_

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 **Side notes:**

( **1** )—Okay, so this is kinda a headcanon of mine. Probably _not_ canon, but I like the idea of Vegeta having taught him a couple of things as well. I mean… Vegeta doesn't _hate_ Goten, so it's… _kinda_ plausible? Though I imagine Vegeta would refuse to teach certain things—such as flying, as he believes its not his place. I guess he just feels bad that no one can really teach Goten (apart from Chi-Chi and of course, Gohan).

( **2** )—Okay, I like the idea of sharp saiyan teeth too much thank you.

( **3** )—I'm a dummy when it comes to details like that, but didn't Goku stay away partly because of his idea that enemies would come to Earth because of him? Uh, I don't remember. I'm sorry if I completely botched that, but I'm also lazy and being lazy makes me too lazy to search…

( **4** )—I'm gonna say that Bulma literally passing out at the loss of Vegeta was one of my fave parts (other than Vegeta's sacrifice) during this saga. Ya just realize how much Bulma loves him during that scene, and yeah.

/

 **Author's note:** You know what's so funny about this—about me writing about this particular pairing—is that well, they're not my OTP of this series. Nope. Vegeta and Bulma have a special place in my heart, but just… somethin' about these two makes me love 'em. Maybe I'll write somethin' sweet, or maybe uh… more uh… less uh… innocent. Uh, yeah. *snickers* I'm kinda curious with how I'd do with a weddin' night, but… yeah. I don't think I'd have Goku be as oblivious to sex as I've seen through _many_ stories (not that I hate that mind you). Welp, I'ma back off with my _kinda_ angst and self-hatred when it comes to Goku because the poor baby doesn't deserve it.

 **Bonus:** KUDOS TO WHOEVER GETS THE SONG REFERENCEEEEEE~


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